Tales of Love

Sadie Testifies

Yes, your honor, here stands a hooker.
I’ve been one since I was seventeen.
I was young and quite a looker.
Then my father said: “Go out and earn your bread”,
So I packed my bags and joined the scene.
“I was scared shitless and green.”
It’s been said that nothing lasts forever
And there’s gonna be a better new day,
When all the madness and all the sadness
Like melting snow will vanish away,
Like melting snow will just vanish away.
Then you see you’re getting older,
Younger girls have come to town.
You begin to get much bolder
(“Cause the dough gets low when wrinkles show”)
And you swear that it won’t get you down.
“It ain’t easy plying your trade in this town.”
It’s been said that nothing lasts forever
And there’s gonna be a better new day,
When all the madness and all the sadness
Like melting snow will vanish away,
Like melting snow will just vanish away.
I was once the main attraction,
John’s were falling at my feet.
Now I’m just an old contraption
(When you ain’t new there’s no need for you.)
Just an old tart who pounds an empty beat!
“You could do something nice for me,
“Lock me up and throw away the key;
Lock me up and throw away the key.”
It’s been said that nothing lasts forever
And there’s gonna be a better new day,
When all the madness and all the sadness
Like melting snow will vanish away,
Like melting snow will just vanish away.

I Loved You, My Love

I loved you my love and you loved me too.
I loved you my love but you were untrue.
You looked in my eyes and told me those lies,
I didn’t surmise but then I got wise.
It’s over my love, what more is there to say.
You had it real good and you threw it away.
Bye bye, my love. Go on your way.
Bye bye, my love, have a nice day.
I thought it might last and you felt it too,
But now that’s all passed; Boo hoo, screw you.
I thought you’d be smart and follow the rules,
I thought you’d be smart but all men are fools.
I loved you my love and you loved me too.
I loved you my love but that wouldn’t do.
You’re only a boy who played with a toy,
And when you were through, looked for someone brand new.
It’s over my love you’re rotten my love.
I made a mistake I’ll carry the ache but now I’m awake.
It’s over my love, You killed it my love.
Now beat it my love.
I loved you my love,
I loved you my love.

I Wanna Get Back With You

I’m writing you this letter to try to make things better,
I’ve been a god damn fool, cantankerous and cruel.
Plying you with jewels while
I broke all the rules when you got fed up with my sass
And kicked me out on my ass.
Something inside of me died
My selfishness and foolish pride.
I wanna get back with you,
‘Cause nobody else will do.
I wanna get back with you,
Just tell me what to do to make it all brand new
I wanna get back with you
‘Cause nobody else will do.
I wanna get back with you,
Just tell me what to do to make it up to you.
Whether in bed or strolling down a street
You and I seemed something so complete.
Now when I look out of my window
No matter what kind of a day,
Rain drops are always falling;
Sunlight is always gray.
I wanna get back with you,
‘Cause nobody else will do.
I wanna get back with you,
Just tell me what to do to make it all brand new.
Please call me and have your say
And when you’re through let’s make it a happy day.
We’ll find a way; so wad da yuh say?
I wanna get back with you,
‘Cause nobody else, ‘cause nobody else,
‘Cause nobody else will do.

The Heavy Drops Keep Falling

I knew at once that it was ending.

I knew at once the moment we kissed.
I knew then that the curtain’s descending,
I knew then we’d have to start pretending.
Please get going while you’ll be missed,
Please get going while you’ll be missed.
All at once the house feels empty,
All at once I’m here a lone.
I’m in the kitchen, and it’s raining.
I’m in the parlor, and it’s raining.
On the staircase in the hall, it’s raining.
In the bedroom, worst of all, it’s raining.
There’s no place where it isn’t raining.
There’s no place where there’s no rain.
The heavy drops keep falling down.
Why do the heavy drops keep falling?
Out side there, everything is dry.
Tell me then, tell me why won’t someone please tell me
Why the heavy drops keep falling?
I knew at once that it was ending.
I knew at once the moment we kissed.
I knew then that the curtain’s descending.
I knew then we’d have to start pretending.
Please get going while you’ll be missed,
Please get going while you’ll be missed.
All at once the house feels empty,
All at once I’m here a lone.

Scarlett and Rhett

I’m sipping coffee at the “Cajun Flower.”
Would you believe they’re playing our old song.
Before the cream I’ve poured starts turning sour,
An other man, my love, will come a long.
Let me assure you my heart’s not breaking.
You’re not the first, my boy, and not the last.
I’m sit ting here and ready for the taking.
Our time together, love, was stormy weather,
But flew by fast, but flew by fast.
I thought “He’s Lohengrin, with out the armor
He’ll be the answer to my prayers”
But you were not.
Sorry to say you’re not that devastating charmer, under the covers,
What you need you haven’t got.
I didn’t care about your “nephew” Juan,
The one who had those curly auburn tresses,
The one I found you snoring soundly on;
That caballero stole my favorite dresses.
I didn’t care a bout your peccadilloes;
A man’s a man and has to work things out.
I didn’t care a bout those sweaty pillows
But when you told me dear, that you were tired
I had to doubt, I had to doubt. . .
I have my pride but that won’t pay the grocer.
He’s coming, he’s coming closer,
An aging gent who’s giving me the eye.
It can’t be long be fore that bird’ll die,
So if I play my cards just right
I might collect his monthly pension,
I’ll use invention, love, to drain him dry.
Our eyes have met, the trap is set, the fish is in the net.
I think I’ll miss you, Rhett.
Keep your belt on tight.
He’s paid my bill. . .
Another boring night.
He’s hailed a cab. . .
Don’t think me a harlot.
I have to go but I remain
Your everlovin’ Scarlett.
Your everlovin’ Scarlett.

Beulah Land

I’ve walked a long life’s highways,

I’ve wandered down love’s byways
My ways were not the wise ways
To find what life’s all about.
It’s nothing but confusion
Confusion and delusion
I’ve reached a firm conclusion,
It’s time that I checked out!
I’m on my way to Beulah Land, to Beulah Land,
That is land of eternity
Whose silent voice calls out to me.
I’m sick of my sight,
I’m taking the flight to Beulah Land,
To Beulah Land, to Beulah Land.
I lived for only pleasure,
I drank its fullest mea sure.
I threw a way a treasure,
Now all I have is in hock.
Times made me old and weary,
Existence is so dreary and so goodbye my deary,
It’s time to stop the clock
I’ve made my way to Beulah Land, to Beulah Land,
Please take my body and my soul if that be the toll,
I gladly place them in to your hand dear Beulah Land,
Dear Beulah Land, dear Beulah Land.
Dear Beulah Land, dear Beulah Land.

The Confederate Mermaid

I’m sittin’ on a rock in the middle o’ the sea.
Waitin’ fer a man the likes of Robert E. Lee.
If I’m to get together with that male pulchritude,
He’s godda know my lonjuh an’ my latitude.
It may be smart, it may be stupid,
But I godda find me a certified cupid.
So in stead of prayin’ I’m lookin’ up an’ sayin’:
Come on down Mister Man in the Moon,
Turn ol’ midnight in to mid-afternoon,
Mister Man in the Moon.
Come on down from your perch high above,
I need you to search fo’ my unknown true love, mister man up above.
The man of my dreams is a man o’ perfection,
So find him and guide him in my direction,
The man of my dreams is a man o’ perfection,
So find him and guide him in my direction.
Come on down Mister Man in the Moon,
Turn ol’ midnight in to mid-afternoon,
Mister Man in the Moon.
Please tell me dear ol’ friend, am I crazy as a loon,
Sit tin’ on a rock conversin’ with the moon?
If you have an answer feel free to have yer say.
Do my eyes deceive me or are you turnin’ a way?
I will not be snubbed, sir don’t you dare!
Now gimme what I asked for, fair an’ square!
Come on down Mister Man in the Moon,
Turn ol’ midnight in to mid-afternoon,
Mister Man in the Moon.
Come on down from your perch high above,
I need you to search fo’ my unknown true love, mister man up above.
The man of my dreams is a man o’ perfection,
So find him and guide him in my direction,
The man of my dreams is a man o’ perfection,
So find him and guide him in my direction.
Come on down Mister Man in the Moon,
Turn ol’ midnight in to mid-afternoon,
Mister Man in the Moon.
I’m here all alone, in the middle o’ nowhere,
About to cry my eyes out without a hanky.
A gentleman you’re not sir.
You’re actin’ lak a yankee!
Come on down, come on down, comma on down.
Come on down from your perch high above,
I need you to search fo’ my unknown true love,